my first update.
i'm going to cover a lot. be prepared!
is chloe's birthday party! hoorah!
i'll be hanging out with little girlies all night long. how lovely aha.
but i forreal do love her friends, it makes me feel so cool being older and pretending like i am autumn and chloe is me. it's just fun.
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i love my english class. i do. i got grouped up with three boys to do this exercise thing. the question we had to ask was what our biggest fear is. i had nothing. nothing physical. they were saying i was so hardcore. and it's not that i was looking for that reaction or anything, i just had nothing to be afraid of. i came up with one, it was being caught in a lie. that is the worstttt. they said that didn't exactly count. it had to be more physical. i kinda expounded on one for it to work for the assignment. but honestly, i'm not afraid of sharks, snakes, roller coasters, spiders or death. there's just no need to be. i think more people need to be daring and face their fears.
i used to be afraid of heights and water (a little) but not to the point where i won't face them. i'll skydive if you want me to. i'll swim back and forth if you want me to. it's just not my favourite but i can conquer my fears.
i used to be afraid of heights and water (a little) but not to the point where i won't face them. i'll skydive if you want me to. i'll swim back and forth if you want me to. it's just not my favourite but i can conquer my fears.
wellllll, he knows i had liked him. he
knows i kinda wanted to date him. i told him/he guessed. and it's simple really... i don't want to date him. i want to become his best friend and laugh and joke with him for years to come. i don't want to date. dating is silly, couples prove it time and again. so, i do not need a boyfriend. i need friends who are boys and i have plenty of those. i take characteristics from many men and blend them together to be a perfect fit.
i was thinking and praying the other night, it was so comforting to think that God's got the boy somewhere. one day God'll bring him forward. why bother looking.
i wrote in my journal for like two hours the other night. filled about 14 pages. i gave a sufficient account of my boyfriends starting with jordan all the way to now. because i want my husband and my kids to know all my dealings with past boys that made me realize that i can wait. it's been a long time coming to realize that. but i can wait, i will wait. i'm in no hurry. i will not rush God's perfect timing.
i was thinking and praying the other night, it was so comforting to think that God's got the boy somewhere. one day God'll bring him forward. why bother looking.
i wrote in my journal for like two hours the other night. filled about 14 pages. i gave a sufficient account of my boyfriends starting with jordan all the way to now. because i want my husband and my kids to know all my dealings with past boys that made me realize that i can wait. it's been a long time coming to realize that. but i can wait, i will wait. i'm in no hurry. i will not rush God's perfect timing.
But i'm not ashamed. i've come far, i've realized that. I thank the Lord most of all. But i also thank Cassie, Kelsey, Jordan and Momma. they have been my sanity. they have helped me up and brought me to my lows. they tell the truth straight up. and truth is the only way i'll grow.
I decided to start reading The Collector again. i liked it, i never finished it. so why not. I read a lot yesterday and Miranda talked about an artist who critiqued her work. he said, "these aren't very good." it crushed her. but why would he tell her they're good if they weren't? why would he lead her to believe she reached his approval? what good does it do to sugar-coat things? you never grow if you think you've already grown.
so, even though i don't plan to be heartless, i plan to say things straight-up. without making myself look better, without making yourself look better. see things as they are and how they can be with perseverance.
well, something i decided...
i'm going to become bilingual if not trilingual. with enough effort i know i can get to the point where i can be a translator for missions. i can do photography and choreography with missions but i want to be able to offer even more for the sake of His Kingdom. I love french and i love spanish. i have enough determination to follow-through and use those for his glory.
OKAY! time to leave.
phoebethune-out
OKAY! time to leave.
phoebethune-out
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